The Secret Sauce to Loving Life that Everyone Wants

I want to bring to your attention today, the one ingredient for the secret sauce to loving life that everyone wants, and so many search for, not realizing they had access to it all along. It’s something we all too often struggle with and IT.AFFECTS. EVERYTHING.

Think of this ingredient as a kind of power.

It’s a power we all have, that we all want and we all so easily lose on the search to find it- even though it’s always been accessible…

We yearn for it and feel empty without it.

It’s simple, but every chance we get, we tend to over complicate it.

The lack of it and the deep wanting for it, is what keeps you stuck.

So you try to control as much as you can to make it happen.

It’s beautiful.

It’s natural.

It feels good.

It feels terrifying.

It’s at the center of love and without it, hate finds fertile ground to grow.

It doesn’t actually need to be forced, yet we try to force and finagle it all of the time.

It’s what keeps us feeling alive, so much so that without it, we die.

I guarantee that every single one of you wants more of it- not necessarily in quantity but in quality, for sure.

The lack of it, is the reason why you feel sad, angry, lonely, resentful… with colleagues or staff or your partner or your kids or your siblings or your parents or yourself, etc…

You may think this thing is communication, but it’s not. Communication matters only so you can access this thing that we all want and need.

You may think it’s love, but it’s not. Without this power, love wouldn’t even exist in the same way.

This ingredient is among the most basic of human needs, and is often among the most forgotten, neglected and misused.

This power, this ingredient is connection.

You’re overwhelmed because the quality of connection you have with yourself is, at the very least, strained, and for some, nearly cut off.

You feel angry or resentful because you desire a different type of connection than what you’re experiencing.

You feel sad or alone because you are longing for a type of meaningful connection that you’re either not experiencing, are worried you may lose, or fear may not exist for you.

You get stuck in your head because that internal connection doesn’t feel strong enough, or reliable enough, or safe enough, to lean on and trust.

You feel happy when you’re experiencing a meaningful connection or anticipate experiencing a meaningful connection happening.

You feel joyful when you are meaningfully connected with you- reliably, safely, securely connected with you.

So what do I mean by connecting with you?

I mean knowing and being open to continue to get to know yourself- flaws, strengths and all the in between. Loving yourself compassionately regardless of imperfection.

I mean being your own best friend and standing tall in who you authentically are, so much so, that you don’t doubt your worthiness, your gifts or your value. I mean believing you’re intrinsically worthy of love, safety and belonging without having it mean someone or something else is less than. 

I mean being able to forgive yourself, to be vulnerable and to take risks so you can meaningfully connect with others.

I mean experiencing your emotions instead of running from them.

I mean attuning to your body, mind and spirit when it’s telling you it needs respite, love and care, instead of hustling so hard  that you disregard your own needs, desires and boundaries.

I mean lovingly and excitedly choosing to invest time, money and energy in caring for your health and wellness, instead of relentlessly spending it all on the “to do’s” or placing money and the means to make or hoard it, as a justification for not getting more meaningfully connected in your life.

I mean getting real about why anything really matters to you, and acknowledging, without shame, that it’s because of a deep desire to genuinely and meaningfully feel connected to yourself and to others.

That is what I mean by being meaningfully connected with you first… and that is what I whole-heartedly believe you all, we all, want.

How do you use your power?

Are you deeply and meaningfully connected to you?

What’s your relationship like with yourself?

Whatever it is, it will show up like a mirror in your relationships.

If you know you are committed to getting more connected with you, so you can get more connected in your life, now is the time to take action. Here’s a free tool I created to help you give yourself a reality check and self assess what is and is not working in your life right now… you’ll now notice and know that connection impacts all of it.

Here is the link for your self assessed wellness check up: http://bit.ly/yourwellnesscheckup

For therapy in PA: www.authenticallymepsychotherapy.com

For transformational life coaching: drtonicoachesllc.vipmembervault.com

***Please note that coaching and therapy are not one in the same; they are separate services and the above mentioned are separate business entities. If you are unsure which service best fits your needs, simply reach out and ask: mail@authenticallymepsychotherapy.com or hello@drtonicoaches.com

Dr. Toni Warner, LCSW, MSW, MeD, is a transformational life & wellness coach for the ambitious seeking balance and a licensed psychotherapist in Pennsylvania. Dr. Toni is the founder of Dr. Toni Coaches, LLC, a coaching and consulting business. It’s mission is to inspire and enact positive change in the world by helping heart-centered impact makers and leaders to create balance, allowing them to more deeply and meaningfully live, love, connect and share their gifts, enhancing the lives of others. She is also the founder of Authentically Me Psychotherapy, LLC, where she supports high achieving and creative individuals who are struggling with anxiety, depression, burn out and disconnection, to get in touch with their core selves so they can live more fully and authentically aligned lives.