The Busy-ness Trap

You’ve been pretty busy, huh?
With the pressures of work, home, social climate, finances, relationships, and adulting responsibilities, how could you not be busy?

How could you not be stressed?

How could you not be overwhelmed?

How could you possibly have time for yourself?

How could you possibly have time to do everything you actually want to do?

Do those justifications for staying busy all sound familiar to you? I am sure you could think of a ton more, too.

The fact is, thought processes like these get at the essence of what the “hamster wheel of stress” is all about. They create burn out because you keep moving, keep hustling, but you’re not actually moving forward in any type of internally meaningful way. Even with outward progress, you are limited in the inward progress you can make.
What’s the definition of insanity again? “Nothing changes if nothing changes” or “Keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result”. Right?

Are you willing to play a little game with me for a moment? 

Imagine you were watching over yourself from afar, as you went about your day. What would you observe about how you choose to spend your time? Would it align with what really matters most to you; with how you want to experience your life? What notes could you take about where you expend your time? Where and when is it spent most productively? How about least productively?

Be honest with yourself. What did you come up with?

Was your time spent where you wanted it to be spent and in a productive manner?

Was it not?

Based on your honest observations of you, are you living a life that’s stuck in the busy-ness trap, or are you living balanced? If you are stuck in the busy-ness trap, would you like to change where you spend your time, and choose balance instead?
Okay, so I’m going to assume you want balance in your life but you’ve bought into all of that hullabaloo your thoughts have been telling you about needing to stay busy- which has kept you stuck.

Most people stuck in the busy-ness trap have no idea what balance would really look like for them. They say they want it, but when push comes to shove, they can’t fully visualize what balance would truly be like for them at this time in their life. How about you, do you know what you mean when you say you want balance?

Is it more quality time with loved ones?
Is it more enjoyment in doing things that you once enjoyed but have had no energy for lately?
Is it working and stressing less so you have time for some fun, friends, dating, parenting or creativity in your life?
Every single one of these things requires your time, right? So, the balance that you want in life will require time as well. People get stuck here all of the time. It goes something like “I don’t have time to do XYZ.”

Is it possible that you’ve been so busy being busy that there’s no space to create the balance you want?

Is it possible that those limiting beliefs about how stressed, busy and overwhelmed you “should” be, are causing you to stay and get MORE busy instead of less?

I remember noticing that I was filling my time with staying “busy” to finish school, to get a good job, all justified by thoughts that I was “bettering my life for myself and my daughter” as a single mom at the time. It felt good and balanced, until my life circumstances changed. The level of busy I was operating with as a single mom of one, working and going to school, was simply not going to work as a partnered mom of multiple kids, working full-time.

At some point, my thought process became rigid and I bought into the belief that I had to stay busy to be productive. I had to stay busy to achieve the life I wanted. All along, I was neglecting living the life I could enjoy and embrace in the moment, thinking it would jeopardize my success and happiness in the long-run.

I neglected dealing with my feelings.
I struggled to communicate with my partner effectively.
I grew more irritated with my kids.
And so on and so forth…

All of that and more, because I was stuck in the busy-ness trap and did not even know it. I was only able to intervene in this cycle, once I stopped buying into the beliefs that justified my having to live a busy life.

This distinction was a game changer for me. I do not have to be busy to be successful. I can choose balance by getting intentional about where I choose to spend my time. It sounds simple, but once I started implementing it in my life, my mind was blown- and that is what happens with my clients too!

So, what will you choose? If you are stuck in the busy-ness trap, will you notice which thoughts you are using to keep you there? Will you do anything about it? Will you get intentional about your time?

I hope you do- because we need ambitious leaders and helpers like you in our world. We need you to take care of yourself, so you can share your gifts even more profoundly with those you are meant to support and serve.

If you are ready to tackle the busy-trap beliefs in your head that are no longer serving you, and you want to live your version of a balanced and joyful life with meaning, than I welcome you to connect now- don’t wait. If you wait, you will stay stuck in the busy-ness trap longer than you need to. Why do that to yourself if it is not necessary!?

For therapy in PA: www.authenticallymepsychotherapy.com
For transformational life coaching: drtonicoachesllc.vipmembervault.com

***Please note that coaching and therapy are not one in the same; they are separate services and the above mentioned are separate business entities. If you are unsure which service best fits your needs, simply reach out and ask: mail@authenticallymepsychotherapy.com or hello@drtonicoaches.com

Dr. Toni Warner, LCSW, MSW, MeD, is a transformational life & wellness coach for the ambitious seeking balance and a licensed psychotherapist in Pennsylvania. Dr. Toni is the founder of Dr. Toni Coaches, LLC, a coaching and consulting business. It’s mission is to inspire and enact positive change in the world by helping heart-centered impact makers and leaders to create balance, allowing them to more deeply and meaningfully live, love, connect and share their gifts, enhancing the lives of others. She is also the founder of Authentically Me Psychotherapy, LLC, where she supports high achieving and creative individuals who are struggling with anxiety, depression, burn out and disconnection, to get in touch with their core selves so they can live more fully and authentically aligned lives.